Tuesday, June 25, 2013

S.F. Self Image

Soul Fitness: Self Image Part 1

First off, I apologize about the language in the image, but this image inspired this post.  I was about to begin writing a series of posts about male body image, and how we, like women, can struggle with body image. However, I saw this on facebook today, and despite playing it off as a joke, it got me thinking.

What has happened?

Well, first, what is the meme trying to say? Is it because the kid on the right seems somewhat effeminate? Is it because he isn't debonair? Is it railing against who is in our current pop culture spotlight?

I'm not exactly sure, but I do think it is the latter (although this person disagrees).

I can't speak for all men, nor would I want to. I can only speak for myself, and what I get out of the meme. When I see the image on the left, I don't see an actor that I just watched in a movie last night (Sword of the Valiant. It is awful and I loved it). No, in the meme I see my grandfather. I see the man who kept his fingernails perfectly manicured, wore a suit to work everyday, kept his hair perfectly combed...in all honesty, I see my first childhood hero.

On the right? Well, I have no idea who that actually is, but I guess that he is some kind of pop star or other. Who is he? He is the current generation, one step removed from me. Honestly, he is of little consequence to my thoughts. I am focused on the grandfatherly image on the left.  What has happened?

As I type this, I looked down to see my fingernails. They are well maintained. My hair is kept shorter than my grandfather kept his, but it is also well kept. I don't get (or have to) wear a suit to work every day. I wear a white jacket instead. I'm lucky. I get to put on a crisp new jacket every morning.

Still, part of me will always wonder if I stack up against these male role models I grew up with. They were always so hard working. They gave of themselves and asked for little in return, and that is where it hits me hardest. These idealized images I hold in my mind are very hard to live up to.  But that isn't a bad thing! I sit back and compare myself against these men of the past, and it gives me a firm ground to work from.  Because I had such good men as mentors, it gives me a great place to start from as a parent.

Comparing ourselves with others, especially those we look up to, can be difficult. We idealize them while we see our own faults. I still hold on to a lot of the punk rock aesthetic. In fact, today I wore shorts with argyle socks. Debonair, I wasn't. But, while I can't beat myself up thinking about how I 'measure up' it is a good thing to sit back and analyze sometimes. We have this wonderful ability to be able to mold and re-create ourselves to a larger extent than we sometimes believe. I know I've done a lot of self analysis and re-molding over the last five years (since becoming the parent of an amazing son). This blog is just one of the tools of my own metamorphosis. I was out of shape and wanted to hold myself accountable, publicly, through a physical metamorphosis. It has become more than that as the physical ties into the spiritual, mental etc...

While rebellion against being my father/grandfather/parents happened, it also ended. It did a full circle. As children we (those of us with good male role models) idolize our fathers. Later we rebel against them.

Finally, we become them.

And I'm very proud of that.  Love to you dad, and both of my grandfathers. Thank you for all you did for me.

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